First Impressions

I’m pretty sure many people have heard the saying ‘first impressions count’. I was thinking about this statement today and I was wondering the truth in it.

Firstly, lets think about places. When you first enter a house, or a pub, you are overwhelmed by trying to take everything in. The first day I moved into my flat at university, I walked in with my parents. I noticed three doors, one of which was extremely heavy and used all of the strength in my toothpick like arms to open. I noticed one of my future flatmates unpacking all of her stuff and after introductions, I finally entered Room 8 of my flat. It was a small room, a blank canvas. There was a bright blue carpet and plain white walls and a pin board with nothing on it. Over time, I have hovered said carpet many times, I have pinned up pictures and maps and tickets on my pin board and decorated my room, making it personal. I have got used to the door after drunken nights out stumbling home, or outside smoking. I later realised, six months down the line, that the flat I lived in looked completely different to when I first saw it that day many months ago. Everything of course has remained the same, but instead of looking at it with inexperienced eyes of a fresher, excited to move in, I now see the place where I leave- the time I dropped my soup in the corridor, the time in the kitchen where I’ve done work. And I realised- my first impression of the flat had completely changed and adapted to what I am now used to.

The same goes for people. I have met people that I liked on first introductions, only to later find out that actually, that girl is a manipulative, backstabbing bitch, or that guy is an offensive pig. I’ve met people that for some reason, I’ve disliked, only to realise later on that they are actually very decent people, and I have become friends with them. Which brings me to another saying- don’t judge a book by it’s cover.

In life, you will meet a range of people- nice people, funny, horrible, bullying, kind, all sorts. But this takes time to find out what people are. You aren’t going to meet someone and they will introduce themselves saying “Hi, I’m Carly. I’m going to bitch about you all of the time and steal your boyfriend because your friendship means noting to me” and you aren’t going to hear the guy you don’t like saying “I’m really nice, and I’ll be here for you even thought you don’t like me” because it’s not what people do. First appearances are misleading. It takes time to know another human being. So, whenever you meet a new person, remember that you would not liked to be judged on the first few words that you say, but rather your actions over time. We’re so quick as humans to jump in straight away to conclusions but I plead, take your time. human beings and complex machines. you need to decode everyone in individual ways. And you never know, if you take the effort to truly understand and analyse someone, you can make a true friend for life.

Peace out guys.

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Afraid of your Passion?

There are many people in life that I see every day, that I have a pleasant conversation with or say hello and move on, and realise that I don’t actually know them. The girl that I sit next to in seminars is nice, but I don’t know what she wants to be in the future. The guy I see in the flat opposite me- does he love boxing, or wrestling? Furthering on my point made on my last blog on who we are, I decided to elaborate. I believe that we are, in fact, afraid. From childhood we are brought up to be scared of being abnormal or outspoken, we are herded like sheep into liking the same music, wearing the same clothes, and everyone that tries to escape this is deemed ‘abnormal’. I went to school without telling my friends that I liked to write, or how much I loved the idea of travelling, scouring the world and trying different cuisines and walking different sands from different parts of the world. I didn’t tell them about how falling in love really made me feel, rather than “Yeah, he’s cute, it’s going well” and I realised it’s because humans have broken communication. We’re used to blunt messages on phone screens and Facebook simplified to acronyms like ‘how r u’ and ‘kl, cy l8er’. I think it’s mad. My point is- from many of my experiences as a teenager, people are embarrassed to be passionate about things. It was like an unspoken rule that when you didn’t care, you were automatically cool. I remember a girl once telling me about how she made a happy playlist on her iPod, and certain songs made her realise how warm the sun was or how elevated she felt and how her day was brightened, with great enthusiasm, only to turn red when the other girls stared at her weirdly and continuing talking about X Factor or Eastenders. I found that people keep their passions sometimes hidden within them, like a tiny secret that only they know- which is strange. Some people obviously shout about their passions from the rooftops, or take them up as careers. But there are a multitude of people that are scared of the reaction they get when they talk about how panting makes them feel- the satisfaction of blending the creamy colours together and watching them darken and adapt. Scared of how people will look at them when they explain the thrill of standing on a stage, with jittery, clammy hands and eyes on them as their heart beats fast until they finish performing, feeling an elevation. I want to tell people that I love the feeling of walking on warm sand, something strangely comforting to me, whilst looking out at the sea- one of my favourite things on earth. I have decided from now on, I am going to be open and descriptive about what I love. So what, if they don’t like reading, or writing fanfiction, or cooking? It’s your passion. It’s what makes you happy- not for other people to judge. That goes for the less conventional activities too! I am going to tell people not only what I watched last night on TV, or what I had for dinner- but something that excites me, that I want to do. Something that will make them learn a little bit more about the real me. And you should too.

Who are you?

Many situations will arise in your life in which you have to shortly summarise who you are. An example is the introductory ‘name games’ at school or university where you sheepishly have to say your name, where you live and something about yourself. Recently, when I was faced with such an awkward and unpleasant task, I could find anything to say. It wasn’t, or course, that I had no personality or was the human equivalent of water, but that I cannot be summarised into a sentence. And neither can you. How can I possible say that I’m a writer, a feminist, a dreamer, a wisher, a lover and a fighter? How can I express the contrasting qualities of my being- I love being strong, and independent, yet I Sometimes like being shy and innocent. Sometimes I can dominate a room with talking and telling stories and captivating people, other times I like to sit and daydream, the conversations flowing past me unnoticed. I can’t express some of the deepest philosophical thoughts that I’ve had in my life or how my heart fluttered when I fell in love or how the events in my life have changed me. I know that no one will truly ever know me as well as I know myself. Sure, they may know you’re favourite colour, or what genre films you like, but you are the only person that will ever be a constant in your life. They weren’t there when you took your first steps, had your first kiss, when you embarrassed yourself and laughed and cried and went through life. It’s extremely important to remember that everyone is a human being with a life- a past and a future, and what you see is definitely not what you get. I often wonder what people think when they see me. Sometimes we use fashion and posters and tattoos to try and express who we really are, but it’s easy to ignore that and focus on yourself. I once got in an argument with a girl and was horrible upset, until my mother reminded me that she was too. She had emotions too- it wasn’t just about me and my feelings. It’s so important in this day and age to try and be selfless- because when good things happen to you, it can change your day. Other people deserve the same. Originating back to my point on ‘who are you’ I wonder if anyone else has a problem defining who they are in simple terms? How can a few words summarize your soul, your essence, your experiences? I have come to the conclusion that it is perfectly okay that people will not know every depth of my soul. I like to keep some remains of my soul private, and I can continually change, growing day by day until the best person I can possibly be. A year ago I didn’t identify as a feminist, something which now has influenced me greatly. A year ago I didn’t know how much I loved writing, now a great passion of mine. Every day, you begin to change and evolve, so you are never really one person, just an idea that changes and grows as you continue the journey of life.

 

Getting deep, I realise, but I hope you followed my train of thought. If you’ve read this, thank you very much and please comment below, I’d love to know what you think. Bye!